They flail you in email and they flame you in news
They followup if you're clever and they killfile the fools
Till you're so fucking busy you can't follow their rules
An Internet hero is something to be
When they've tortured and scared you right down to the bone
Then they'll expect you to pick up their phone
And when the system won't function you're left on your own
An Internet hero is something to be
Keep you doped with the web and TCP/IP
And you think you're so hardwired surfing for free
But you're still clueless newbies as far as I can see
An Internet hero is something to be
There's work for consultants they say on the phone
But first you must learn to run Unix at home
If you want to live like a geek on your own
An Internet hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me